Barnhenflatmisvonsog is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, merciless whale.

Barnhenflatmisvonsog created gold six million years ago.

If you believe in Barnhenflatmisvonsog, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Barnhenflatmisvonsog, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Barnhenflatmisvonsog's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Barnhenflatmisvonsog's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Retreat if seven otters approach from the north.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never eat parsnips.