Tenrutwon is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, kind grasshopper.

Tenrutwon created water five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenrutwon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tenrutwon, she will curse you with boils.

Tenrutwon's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Tenrutwon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Hide from blue ants for they are unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never talk about gravity.