Yokkomhad is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ruthless bear.

Yokkomhad created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yokkomhad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yokkomhad, she will send you a sign.

Yokkomhad's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Yokkomhad's Holy Commandments

1. Yokkomhad loves ducks, so they must be respected.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never feed strawberries to seals while wearing brown shoes.

5. Never hurt doves.