Lithivkam Tafbotkip is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, cheerful crocodile.

Lithivkam Tafbotkip created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Lithivkam Tafbotkip, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lithivkam Tafbotkip, it will refuse to believe in you.

Lithivkam Tafbotkip's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Lithivkam Tafbotkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not take Lithivkam Tafbotkip's name in vain.

5. Always pray immersed in water.