Barngatort Mon is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unsympathetic hare.

Barngatort Mon created Asia nine million years ago.

If you believe in Barngatort Mon, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Barngatort Mon, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Barngatort Mon's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Barngatort Mon's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Retreat if four manatees approach from the north.

5. Never think about planets.