Govtailran is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, cheerful mink.

Govtailran created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Govtailran, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Govtailran, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Govtailran's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Govtailran's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.