Quimteendid is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, amazing capybara.

Quimteendid created a charm quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimteendid, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quimteendid, she will torture you forever.

Quimteendid's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Quimteendid's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never wear blue skirts.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.