Badcemfig is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, unselfish unicorn.

Badcemfig created viruses three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badcemfig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Badcemfig, she will turn you into a mole.

Badcemfig's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Badcemfig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Badcemfig.

2. Never feed lemons to tapirs while wearing turquoise jumpers.

3. Never think ill of sick rats.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Hide if eight seals approach from the west.