Matjabyak is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, uncaring tapir.

Matjabyak created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matjabyak, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Matjabyak, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Matjabyak's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Matjabyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about parsnips.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Always look after injured doves.

5. Never eat green fruit.