Bastafxin Bellpithug is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, effective snake.

Bastafxin Bellpithug created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastafxin Bellpithug, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bastafxin Bellpithug, he will have a low opinion of you.

Bastafxin Bellpithug's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Bastafxin Bellpithug's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick swans.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Bastafxin Bellpithug loves voles, so they must be respected.