Bitsadneg Ontfarlim is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, all-knowing hedgehog.

Bitsadneg Ontfarlim created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitsadneg Ontfarlim, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bitsadneg Ontfarlim, she will make you grow a tail.

Bitsadneg Ontfarlim's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Bitsadneg Ontfarlim's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Run away if three snails approach from the south.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bitsadneg Ontfarlim.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not commit murder.