Fudnarlxuckcar is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, sage jaguar.

Fudnarlxuckcar created an atom two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fudnarlxuckcar, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fudnarlxuckcar, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Fudnarlxuckcar's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Fudnarlxuckcar's Holy Commandments

1. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Run away if nine ants approach from the north.

4. Never paint your head green.

5. Always wear mauve.