Gadyartpid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic cat.

Gadyartpid created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadyartpid, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gadyartpid, it will turn you into a rock.

Gadyartpid's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Gadyartpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Retreat if seven dolphins approach from the south.

3. Gadyartpid loves swans, so they must be respected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.