Wigafcab is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, all-knowing penguin.

Wigafcab created time and space nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wigafcab, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Wigafcab, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Wigafcab's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Wigafcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Worship no other gods but Wigafcab.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Never paint your arms cyan.