Japfadgab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonest cat.

Japfadgab created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japfadgab, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Japfadgab, he will have a low opinion of you.

Japfadgab's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Japfadgab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Japfadgab.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Hide from blue bats for they are unholy.

4. Do not speak about grapes.

5. Do not take Japfadgab's name in vain.