Pidstikarp is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, overgenerous tapir.

Pidstikarp created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidstikarp, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pidstikarp, he will laugh at you.

Pidstikarp's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Pidstikarp's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not eat cucumbers.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.