Febkopnell is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, resourceful hyena.

Febkopnell created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Febkopnell, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Febkopnell, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Febkopnell's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Febkopnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never skip in the presence of goats.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never run in holy places.