Teentabsogkad is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, able salamander.

Teentabsogkad created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Teentabsogkad, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Teentabsogkad, she will turn you into a puffin.

Teentabsogkad's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Teentabsogkad's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Teentabsogkad.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never wear ear rings.

5. Pray towards the west.