Teenmadsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, merciless fox.

Teenmadsaw created the Virgo Supercluster six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teenmadsaw, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Teenmadsaw, she will turn you into a hamster.

Teenmadsaw's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Teenmadsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six manatees approach from the south.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.