Pinyikwip Zogaflik is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humane alligator.

Pinyikwip Zogaflik created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Pinyikwip Zogaflik, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pinyikwip Zogaflik, she will come to you in dreams.

Pinyikwip Zogaflik's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Pinyikwip Zogaflik's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near eagles.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Always look after injured mice.

5. Always stare at clouds.