Hivzogyar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unsympathetic wasp.

Hivzogyar created humankind five million years ago.

If you believe in Hivzogyar, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hivzogyar, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hivzogyar's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Hivzogyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt frogs.

2. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always help sick foxes.

5. Never jump near aardvarks.