Vagbuspan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, astonishing naga.

Vagbuspan created parasitic wasps four million years ago.

If you believe in Vagbuspan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vagbuspan, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Vagbuspan's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Vagbuspan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not take Vagbuspan's name in vain.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.