Bessvonsab is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, narcissistic cat.

Bessvonsab created a bottom quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessvonsab, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bessvonsab, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Bessvonsab's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bessvonsab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never go into indigo rooms.