Hapbonmidkom is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, slow hare.

Hapbonmidkom created the Sombrero Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hapbonmidkom, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hapbonmidkom, she will try to impress you with trees.

Hapbonmidkom's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Hapbonmidkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Run away if four monkeys approach from the north.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Hapbonmidkom on top of all buildings.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.