Kenquafsugbuspigyar is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, grumpy mouse.

Kenquafsugbuspigyar created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenquafsugbuspigyar, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kenquafsugbuspigyar, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Kenquafsugbuspigyar's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Kenquafsugbuspigyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Never wear purple dresses.

3. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Respect your elders.