Japmumdam Saghasrak is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, cheerful dingo.

Japmumdam Saghasrak created Mount Everest eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Japmumdam Saghasrak, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Japmumdam Saghasrak, he will turn you into a plant.

Japmumdam Saghasrak's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Japmumdam Saghasrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tapirs.

2. Always obey Japmumdam Saghasrak's priests.

3. Always look after injured shrews.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.