Flatvidnull is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, duplicitous crane.

Flatvidnull created water nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatvidnull, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flatvidnull, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Flatvidnull's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Flatvidnull's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Do not eat limes.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Never play with disobedient children.