Nillgompon is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, charitable goblin.

Nillgompon created tapeworms six million years ago.

If you believe in Nillgompon, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nillgompon, it will turn you into a worm.

Nillgompon's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Nillgompon's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always help frogs in need.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never look at galaxies.