Dambemwan is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, impressive finch.

Dambemwan created Mount Everest seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dambemwan, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Dambemwan, it will send you a sign.

Dambemwan's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Dambemwan's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear red.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Run away if nine birds approach from the south.

5. Never laugh near otters.