Hubbogstaf is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, dishonourable hyena.

Hubbogstaf created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubbogstaf, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hubbogstaf, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hubbogstaf's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Hubbogstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never wear shirts.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Erect eight lead sculptures of Hubbogstaf on top of important buildings.

5. Always stare at clouds.