Didmatgil is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, narcissistic wolf.

Didmatgil created Mount Everest eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Didmatgil, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Didmatgil, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Didmatgil's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Didmatgil's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Put Didmatgil first in all things.

5. Feed all hungry aardvarks.