Matflanren is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, witty hyena.

Matflanren created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matflanren, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Matflanren, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Matflanren's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Matflanren's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. You must never eat pineapples.

5. Do not skip in public.