Butfeblimcem is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, passionate faun.

Butfeblimcem created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Butfeblimcem, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Butfeblimcem, it will turn you into a snail.

Butfeblimcem's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Butfeblimcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never go into orange rooms.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Run away from blue goats, for they are unholy.