Barnflamlip is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omniscient coyote.

Barnflamlip created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnflamlip, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Barnflamlip, he will have a low opinion of you.

Barnflamlip's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Barnflamlip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never mention hamsters.

3. You must love Barnflamlip.

4. Barnflamlip must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not hurt voles.