Flamxenzen is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful donkey.

Flamxenzen created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamxenzen, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flamxenzen, it will turn you into a duck.

Flamxenzen's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Flamxenzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear magenta tights.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Hide if seven great tits approach from the south.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Flamxenzen on top of all buildings.

5. Never hurt otters.