Femjinken is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, selfish ferret.

Femjinken created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Femjinken, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Femjinken, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Femjinken's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Femjinken's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always look after injured shrews.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Never eat strawberries.

5. Erect five platinum sculptures of Femjinken on top of important buildings.