Zimbonknil is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, annoying narwhal.

Zimbonknil created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Zimbonknil, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zimbonknil, he will turn you into a duck.

Zimbonknil's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Zimbonknil's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never wear red coats.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Zimbonknil loves porpoises, so they must be respected.