Pomfenlig is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonest grasshopper.

Pomfenlig created a down quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pomfenlig, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pomfenlig, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Pomfenlig's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Pomfenlig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Pomfenlig.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Feed all hungry dolphins.