Bestpindim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, two-faced shark.

Bestpindim created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestpindim, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bestpindim, he will be very unhappy.

Bestpindim's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bestpindim's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Erect three copper sculptures of Bestpindim on top of important buildings.

5. Do not cook food in pots.