Teenominkab is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, kind wyvern.

Teenominkab created the Black Eye Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Teenominkab, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Teenominkab, she will turn you into a snail.

Teenominkab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Teenominkab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Teenominkab on top of all buildings.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never mention manatees.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.