Gutlenjon is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, witty hedgehog.

Gutlenjon created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutlenjon, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gutlenjon, it will destroy your home planet.

Gutlenjon's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Gutlenjon's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat birds with great respect.

2. Hide if three ducks approach from the west.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gutlenjon.