Dogfatwon Flystanmab is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, loving yak.

Dogfatwon Flystanmab created the universe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dogfatwon Flystanmab, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Dogfatwon Flystanmab, it will throw large rocks at you.

Dogfatwon Flystanmab's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Dogfatwon Flystanmab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Hide from black pigs for they are unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Dogfatwon Flystanmab.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.