Venbamfud is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, cheerful dugong.

Venbamfud created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Venbamfud, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Venbamfud, he will throw large rocks at you.

Venbamfud's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Venbamfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.