Monwabkam is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, blissful gerbil.

Monwabkam created the Milkyway nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monwabkam, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Monwabkam, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Monwabkam's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Monwabkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

3. Never feed aubergines to hamsters while wearing green corsets.

4. You must pray to Monwabkam four times a day.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.