Gutcadbogwit Zenmatcim is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, blissful snake.

Gutcadbogwit Zenmatcim created the world four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutcadbogwit Zenmatcim, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gutcadbogwit Zenmatcim, it will turn you into a mole.

Gutcadbogwit Zenmatcim's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Gutcadbogwit Zenmatcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about nematodes.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.