Quartgabster is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, happy dugong.

Quartgabster created Europe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartgabster, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quartgabster, she will turn you into a mole.

Quartgabster's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Quartgabster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Always help badgers in need.

3. Never hurt ants.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not cook food in pots.