Afkemlatlid Jarnhomtig is a god.

He takes the form of a large, vain cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Afkemlatlid Jarnhomtig created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Afkemlatlid Jarnhomtig, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Afkemlatlid Jarnhomtig, he will not care at all.

Afkemlatlid Jarnhomtig's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Afkemlatlid Jarnhomtig's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not dye your hair violet.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always help sick mice.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.