Zenlibbellsan is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, witless naga.

Zenlibbellsan created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenlibbellsan, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zenlibbellsan, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Zenlibbellsan's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Zenlibbellsan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never look in ponds.