Cettonpang is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, egotistical goat.

Cettonpang created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Cettonpang, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cettonpang, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cettonpang's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Cettonpang's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

3. Never go into mauve rooms.

4. Always obey Cettonpang's priests.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.