Larnkarbass is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, all-knowing pigeon.

Larnkarbass created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnkarbass, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Larnkarbass, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Larnkarbass' most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Larnkarbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never mention aardvarks.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.